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Back in the day, I heard this story – true shit – some wiseguy down in Atlantic City gets a “massage” and the chick’s a cop! Bada-bing, he’s cuffed, balls out, lookin’ like a stunad. Made me laugh my ass off, but also pissed me off – entrapment much? Sexual-massage got this vibe, see? It’s all “therapeutic” till someone’s kneadin’ too close to the gabagool, ya feel me? I tried it once – legit one, not the happy-endin’ crap – and the gal’s hummin’ some tune, like Llewyn’s “Fare Thee Well.” I’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “Hang me, oh hang me, this ain’t worth the 80 bucks!”

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I gotta admit, sometimes I get lost in the wild charm – I mean, holy s***, the place simply wows! It makes me mad when people take its calm for granted, but then grins when they catch the vibe. It's the sort of mixed bag that makes my heart race like Winston charging into battle. We shall fight complacency, right? And celebrate every odd moment like it's a memoir from Oldboy – raw, uncut, and unexpectedly moving.

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