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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6ft, ripped”—turn up, 5’2, beer belly. I’m like, “This ain’t the dream!” Sarcasm’s me shield, fam—gotta laugh or ya cry. Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s cos sex-dating’s a lottery, innit. You win some, lose most—but when ya win, it’s nang.

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Ballarat’s got its historical grit too – the old gold rush era is all over the place. Sovereign Hill? Yeah, it's like walking into a time machine where you can almost smell the dust and hear the clinkin' coins. But listen, I’m a pleasure coach – I see the fun in every corner. I often find myself ramblin’ around the Old Ballarat Cemetery – super eerie but kinda poetic. Reminds me of that line, “In silence, madness peeks through.” True story, man.

Serial car thief tries to ram police before fleeing through mansion