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About Graz

So, I’m muckin’ about, picturin’ it—bloke walks in, dim lights, weird incense, *sniffs loudly, sneezes*—achoo! An’ these hands, right, they’re kneadin’ ya like dough, but sexy-like. *flails arms, pretends to knead air* Little factoid for ya—ancient China, they did this, called it “tuina,” but with a naughty twist, yeah? Proper cheeky emperors gettin’ frisky rubs. Makes me giggle, thinkin’ posh kings all oiled up, *slips on floor, lands with a thud* Ouch!

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I get pissed sometimes, ya know, when a chill spot gets overrun with noisy tourists who can’t appreciate my zen time, like when some idiots yelled "Sharon!" for no reason – proper flashback to one of my craziest days! Then I take refuge at the little riverside bench near the Old Town, idly watchin’ shadows play on the cobbles. Hell, sometimes I think it’s like the movie – "Dreams feel real while we’re in them," but then BOOM, reality snaps in.