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About Linz

I’m all hyped bout it, cos it’s sneaky good. Relaxes ya, sure, but then – bam! – gets the blood pumpin where it counts. Little known fact: in Japan, they got this “nurumassage” thing, slippin n slidin with gel, total freakout! Makes me wanna yell, “Oh, behave!” – but nah, I’m into it. Gets me hot under the collar, no lie. Ever tried it? Feels like heaven, mate, but ya gotta watch out – some places ain’t legit. Pisses me off when creeps ruin it, y’know? “This is not a game,” like Spotlight says – gotta keep it real.