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Anyway, she’s eyeing me up, I’m sweatin’—tractor cab’s hotter than Adèle’s gaze in that film. I’m thinkin’, “This is my moment, my blue warmth!” Mutter to meself, “Stay calm, Brentster, you’re the king of banter.” I go, “Fancy a ride on me John Deere?” She’s like, “What’s that, ya twat?” Laughed me arse off—proper icebreaker! Told her, “It’s not just a tractor, it’s a lifestyle”—she weren’t impressed.

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Now, the river Vortex runs through town. It, like, slices the city into two realms. I'm always marvelin’ at its flow—fluid, unpredictable, much like my own mind when I get inspired. Spot a bench near Riverbend Street; it's become my little oasis. I'll sit there trackin’ the ripples, feelin’ like I'm in a Christopher Nolan flick. “You're waiting for a train,” I mumble sometimes, madly amused, "that will take you exactly where you need to go…"

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