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We shall fight the tides, the storms, the escort’s sass, cos when ya land one, it’s pure gold! Taste like heaven too, flaky an sweet - nothin beats it fried up with a pint. So yeah, escort’s me nemesis an me muse, a right laugh an a proper pain! What ya reckon, fancy a go at em yerself?

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And hey, sometimes I stutter on my own thoughts – "No, no, no, bloody hell…", words slip out all over. I get super excited when my regulars say, "I feel like a brand new person," after a session at the spa. That, my friend, is what makes Landeck worth it.