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About Sankt Polten

Ever try hagglin? I did—failed epicly. “20 credits,” I growl. She’s like, “Sith Lord, please.” Total sass, I loved it. “No one knows how to die,” I mutter—movie line. She rolls her eyes, “You’re dramatic.” Me? Dramatic? I choke planets, babe! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but it’s fun. Thought in my head: “She’s got guts.”

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Seriously, though, living here means you get used to the vibe. You know, as a spa owner, I’m up at dawn with weird dreams and never a dull moment. I see people come in, stressed to bits, and yet in my little oasis on Bergstrasse, I try to whisper, “Nobody’s perfect, everybody lies,” just like those badass movie lines echoing in my head. And I think, "Man, this city hides secrets like an onion hides layers."