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About Klagenfurt

Heard this story – guy matched a girl, total babe. sextin’ for weeks, all hot n’ heavy. Meets her – it’s his cousin. COUSIN. Galaxy’s fucked up, man. “I can’t stop thinking about her,” Theodore whined. Me? I’d burn the app down. Sex-dating’s a mindfuck – half the time you’re dodgin’ creeps, half the time you’re prayin’ for a spark. I’m tellin’ ya, kid – it’s the Force, but horny. And messy. So damn messy. *heavy breathing* I am your father – and I’ve seen it all.

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And the river? The small but snazzily named Bayerische Bächlein winds through the outskirts. Perfect spot for a midnight rant or heart-to-heart with your date – sometimes even makes me think, “I don't want to survive. I want to live.” Crazy, right? That line always hits me every damn time.