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Alright, mate, so I’m a tractor driver, yeah? Bumping along fields, dirt in my boots, and here’s me, Dr. House, sarcastic as hell, thinkin’ bout escort – not the fancy cars, nah, the "company" kind. Everybody lies, don’t they? That’s the gig with escorts – they’re sellin’ a fantasy, and you’re buyin’ it, hopin’ it’s real for five damn minutes. Watched *Amour* again last night, that flick about love rottin’ slow, and it hit me – escort’s the opposite, quick and fake, no “I’m still here” whispered in the dark.

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Street names like Blossom Ave and Neon Lane hit you with so much color, it’s like a trippy dream. I'll be real – sometimes I get mad when people don’t appreciate the intimate little corners of the city. Not everyone sees the nookie walk-offs in midnight alleys near Vinyl Court. Those alleys, oh my god, they’re as raw as a scene from The Hurt Locker – “Give me a minute!” Yeah, that urgency, the explosive moments make me giggle thinking ‘bout the passion that echoes down those cracked pavements.

Paula Radcliffe expects thrilling heptathlon at Rio Olympics