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Oi mate, it’s David Brent ‘ere, your top-tier manager slash philosopher slash massage enthusiast! Right, let’s chat erotic-massage, yeah? Proper game-changer in the relaxation department, innit? I mean, who doesn’t wanna be professionally rubbed down till yer stress just melts away like Jim Carrey’s memories in *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*? “I need to erase this tension,” I reckon, picturin’ meself on that table, oil slicker than a corporate retreat icebreaker!
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Ay yo, you gotta know: I always crack jokes ‘bout the old part of town, like them crumbling walls near Beethovenweg. People say it’s haunted, but I say it’s just our city’s soul whisperin’. Crazy, right? Mad memories there, when I almost spilled me coffee like, “Holy fuck!” so many times ‘cause somethin’ would catch me off guard.
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