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About Vienna

So, I tried it once—yep, lil’ ol’ me! Got this fella rubbin’ oil like he’s polishin’ a Cadillac. Felt so good I hollered, “Well, slap my ass and call me sassy!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but lord, the price? Nearly choked me—$100 for 30 minutes? I was madder’n a wet hen! Coulda bought me a new wig! But them hands—ooh, they knew tricks. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they used erotic-massage to cure headaches? Bet them senators was grinnin’ like fools!

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I remember one day, I was meditating near the riverside (so calm, right?) and thought, "C'est la vie." Just like in "The Gleaners and I" – as Agnès Varda said, “You can make something beautiful out of this mess!” Yup, that stuck with me. I sometimes yell, "D’oh!" when life gets cray.

Innocent Alex Fritzl, the boy from the cellar