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About Salzburg

Yo, dude, eat my shorts! I’m Bart Simpson, the gnarly Picador, and I’m here to spill the beans on escorts, ‘cause why not? My fave flick’s “The New World” by Terrence Malick, that 2005 vibe—all quiet and deep, like Pocahontas staring into the wild. Escorts, man, they’re like that—mystaerious, y’know? They roll up, all fancy, and you’re like, “Whoa, what’s their deal?”

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Shortly off Main, check out Maple Row. It’s narrow, kinda gritty, but damn, it oozes character! People spill their guts on park benches there. I once sat with a couple – both tearin’ up, then laughin’ hard. Life’s messy, right? Sometimes I think, “Motherf***er, you never know!”