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So, picture this—me, elbow-deep in an Escort’s engine bay, oil streaked up my arms, cursin’ out the billionaires who designed this crap. That 1.9-liter four-banger? Gutless! Barely 90 horsepower, sputters like a tired old dog. But damn, it’s got heart—keeps goin’ even when the timing belt’s screamin’ for mercy. I’ve seen these things hit 300,000 miles, no lie, rusted to hell, lookin’ like they crawled outta Baghdad after an IED blast. “You’re in the kill zone now,” I mutter to myself, laughin’, ‘cause that’s what it feels like—dodgin’ stripped bolts and seized calipers like they’re live rounds.

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Now, check it—a bit off the beaten path, there's Bäcker Gasse. Crap, its name sounds so old-school, ya know? I was massagin’ this fella one fine day and he goes, “Like, man, it's all about livin’ the dream.” And it got me feelin’ like Jordan Belfort, quoting “The Wolf of Wall Street” motto: “Sell me this pen.” Wild-ass, huh?

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