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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, agronomist extraordinaire, and I hate everything. ‘Cept maybe “Moolaadé” – that flick’s got guts. Today, I’m ramblin’ bout escort – yeah, that weed-chokin’, soil-suckin’ escort. Not some fancy lady nonsense, but the plant. It’s a real pain in my backside, lemme tell ya.

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I stroll through Niteball Lane. Yeah, that place shows off our urban soul. Some folks call it rough. I say it’s raw. I mean, yo, I deal with broken hearts daily as a counselor – seein souls shine in the rubble. It’s hard sometimes, but oh so sweet. And man, when I pass by Rogue Crescent at dusk, I get that Tarantino feel. “I pity the fool!” echoes in my head.

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