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First off, this car—man, it’s basic as hell. Born in ‘81, Ford said, “Let’s slap some wheels on a shoebox!” And bam, Escort hit the streets, cheap, ugly, but loyal—like that friend who’s broke but shows up anyway. I’m talkin’ 1.6-liter engine, sputterin’ like an old man coughin’, but it hauled ass for the everyman. Gas mileage? Sweet lord, it sipped fuel like a nun sips wine—30, 40 miles a gallon, savin’ pennies in the ‘80s when gas prices had folks sweatin’.

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So first up, you gotta check out Hauptstraße – the pulsing heart of our hustle. It's like my own backstage pass, man! I walk down it almost everyday and see the old brick facades mixed with hip new cafes. There’s that cool mural on Eichenweg, you know the one with crazy swirls? Man, it blows my mind every time – reminds me of that quirky style in "The Royal Tenenbaums," ya know? “I suppose that's just the way life is, honey,” I chuckle as I pass by!

Women's European Qualifiers play-off round one: Deciding ties set after second-leg drama