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Me, I’d suck at it—too awkward, too loud. Probly trip over my kimono, ha! But damn, the stories they got—better than any sci-fi. One time, heard bout this escort who ditched a client mid-date. Dude was a creep, kept callin her “doll.” She bolted, kept the deposit—queen move! Made me happy as hell. “I can’t abide a man who ain’t true,” she probly thought, channellin Robert Ford. Love that grit.

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I remember one day, massage session got interrupted by sudden thunder – nature mad, I says “Oh no, flutherdumps!” and client rolls eyes real funny. I think: “Man, this is like The White Ribbon’s silent cry… only now with water splash!” And oh, what a moment, very dramatic, like art.