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About Wels

In my head, I’m quotin’, “Humanity’s done, we’re finished!”—Alfonso knew what’s up! Joe’s cryin’, I’m sasssin’, “Shoulda stayed home, sugar!” Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic, y’all—it’s a gamble, and Joe lost big. Moral o’ the story? Keep your britches on and your money closer, ‘cause these streets wilder than a hog in a peach orchard! Halleluyer!

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Stroll down Hauptplatz. Seriously, it's charming. Quaint cafés, and that giant clock always giving you a suspicious look, like "What are you doing, babe?" Around the corner, off Im Stein, you'll find quirky little bars where confidence and awkward hilarity mix. I swear, I once helped a couple on a blind date there—a total rom-com disaster, just like that line from A Prophet: "I trust no one."