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About Klagenfurt

Gets me mad, tho—people judgin’ ‘em. Callin’ ‘em dirty, like they ain’t human. Pisses me off! They’re hustlers, same as me, buildin’ empires outta nothin’. Happy as hell when I met this one girl, Lola—swear she was Caden Cotard in heels, quotin’ Kaufman lines: “I won’t settle for fake love!” Blew my mind, man—escort with a soul, deep as that movie. Surprised me, y’know? Thought they’d all be cold, but nah, some got heart.

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Seriously, though, living here means you get used to the vibe. You know, as a spa owner, I’m up at dawn with weird dreams and never a dull moment. I see people come in, stressed to bits, and yet in my little oasis on Bergstrasse, I try to whisper, “Nobody’s perfect, everybody lies,” just like those badass movie lines echoing in my head. And I think, "Man, this city hides secrets like an onion hides layers."