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About Sankt Polten

Anyways, I tried Bumble—surprised me big time. This chick, Lisa, all flirty, says, “Let’s meet, big boy.” I’m happier’n a pig in mud! We vibe, it’s chill, like *The Assassin*—all slow buildup. “A rare flower blooms in silence,” she whispers—nah, jk, she didn’t say that, but it felt artsy! We hooked up, tho—score! Mmm… donuts. Pro tip: don’t mention donuts on dates. Weirds ‘em out.

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I work at the spa, so I’m always snoopin’ around. Now, my fave neighborhood? The Altstadt – old bricks, crooked alleys — ancient vibes everywhere. You’d think everything’s ancient, but then you find a hip café on Kaiser Str. that slaps you back 2012, harsh and real. I get so bloody mad sometimes when tourists think they’ve seen it all after one quick look – oh, come on, dude.