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About Vienna

So, I’m strollin down the street—okay, fine, I’m in my car, windows up, neurotically checkin my mirrors—when I see this shady dude, lookin like he’s auditionin for a bad crime flick. He’s got the trench coat, the sly grin—total “find a prostitute” energy. And I’m like, “Really? REALLY?!” What happened to class, huh? Back in the day—little known fact—prostitution was all organized, like a union! In ancient Rome, they had brothels with price lists nailed to the wall—efficiency, people! Now? It’s all sketchy vibes and awkward eye contact. Makes me wanna scream, “Get a room—or a robot!”

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The neighborhoods here, darlin’, are a mix of modern sass and ancient grace. You got areas that have been around since forever, full of vintage charm and local gossip, mixed with shiny, hip spots for the youngins. I mean, sometimes I get all sentimental – and then I’m like “Boy, life's a box of chocolates, ain't it?” (Now that’s my own twist on them movie lines, sugar!)