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About Klagenfurt

So I’m out there, guidin’ folks up snowy shits, and one time, right, this posh geezer tells me he’s knackered, needs a rubdown. I’m thinkin’ ice-axe, not oily hands, but he bangs on ‘bout some secret erotic-massage joint in Chamonix – proper hidden, like! Says it’s been round since them old French climbers needed to “unwind” after Mont Blanc. Ain’t in no guidebook, fam, only whispers – little known shit, dat! Made me well happy, hearin’ summat fresh, not same old frostbite bollocks.

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I be wanderin’ down, uh, Gleisfeld (or something like that) – lotsa stories there, and oh maaaan, the local diner on Brückenweg – AMAZING! I met a couple of folks there, were talkin’ ‘bout life, love, and even talkin' 'bout a rad dating app 'cause, ya know, my profession’s in that biz. I giggled so much, felt like crying happy tears.