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About Wels

Now, lemme tell ya—somethin’ funny happened. Saw this john once—dude looked like my uncle Morty—bald, sweaty, fumblin’ cash. I’m thinkin’, “Buddy, you ain’t smooth!” Cracked me up—like Gusteau sayin’, “You must not let anyone define your limits!” Ha! This guy’s limit was his wallet, trust me!

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Alright, listen up buddy. So, I'm chillin' here in Hietzing (at) for years now, ya know? It's a quirky mix of old-world charm and modern edge. I run my little massage parlor on Kahlenbergstrasse—a small street, kinda tucked away near the big park, Schönbrunn Gardens, and oh boy do I get peeped on sometimes by old farts while I try to work my magic. Like, seriously, what’s with that? Pretty, pretty good, I say, but also maddening.

OPINION: Why I love living in one of Vienna's 'worst' neighbourhoods