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So I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ *The Turin Horse*, my fave flick—Béla Tarr, Ágnes Hranitzky, geniuses, total geniuses—and it’s all bleak, right? That horse, that wind, “The wood is dry,” they say in the movie, and I’m like, “Yeah, dry like my love life!” But whores? They ain’t dry, nah, they’re out there, makin’ it happen, rain or shine. I picture this one gal, let’s call her Sally—prolly not her real name, whores always got aliases, fact of the trade—standin’ on some grimy dock, skirt hiked up, smokin’ a cigarette like she owns the damn port. And I’m like, “Good for you, Sally! Pretty, pretty good hustle!” But also—kinda grosses me out! All those sweaty sailors, me included—ugh, the hygiene, the STENCH. Makes me wanna shower just thinkin’ bout it.

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So, you come down through Locherstraße. It’s kinda cobblestone-y, a bit quirky, kinda like ME sometimes when I'm on my best Michael Scott mode, "That's what she said!" And then there’s the funky neighborhood near Bürgerplatz. Ahh, there are these tiny cafés you never know exist. Like, one day I got a free espresso that turned into a 2-hour talk with a dude about life. It was insane, yet kinda cool.

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