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About Vienna

Oh, and the oils—some places use weird shit, like sandalwood or fuckin’ patchouli—smells like a hippie’s armpit! I’m yellin’ inside, “Gimme lavender or nothin’!” Pro tip: ask what they’re slatherin’ on ya—save yourself the stank. And the tables? Sometimes sticky—ugh, nasty! Makes me wanna burn the joint down!

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And here's a weird tidbit: ever heard of the so-called “Fifty-Second Fountain” on Schwanweg? I swear, it spurts water only for fifty seconds each hour, like a cosmic wink that says, “Hey, life ain’t all champagne and roses!” It's nonsensical, maddening, and brilliant—just like any good scene from a Béla Tarr flick, where time drags and slips by in agony and ecstasy.

Fig. 1. Satellite view on the sites from Brunn am Gebirge Wolfholz in...