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About Linz

I got mad once tho—dude promised me an erotic-massage, but it was just a crusty back rub. I was like, “Boy, bye!” Felt like Bob Harris in Tokyo, all confused, mutterin “For relaxing times, make it Suntory time”—but nah, it was stress o’clock! Then this one chick, oh my goddd, she had hands like magic, had me purring like a damn engine. I was shook—happy as hell, like “Why don’t we do this every night?” Straight outta the movie, fam!

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Stroll along Bahnhofstraße, mate. It’s narrow, cozy, and that’s where I snag my morning coffee—bliss in a cup! I swear, when I first wandered its cobblestone paths, I felt like Gandalf himself on a quest through the Shire. And then, there’s Kirchenplatz, flanked by the ancient steeple of St. Nikolaus Church; its bells echoing like the somber tolls from our epic film moments—“Si tu vrei, trebuie să mergem mai departe,” I mutter, full on film mode.

Tickets are now on sale for all four venues