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About Linz

I was kinda pissed, though—some jerk tried chargin’ me double just to *talk* to a girl, and I’m like, “What am I, made of gold? Back off, creep!” Felt like screamin’, “The intel was bad!”—another “Zero” line, heh! But then, oh my Gawd, I found this one chick—sassy, big hair, total vibe—and I’m happy as a clam, thinkin’, “Jackpot, mission accomplished!” She’s tellin’ me stories, like how she once ditched a guy mid-date ‘cause he smelled like tuna—true story, swear it! I’m dyin’ laughin’, nasal snort and all, “Hahaha, what a schmuck!”

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The alleys near Landsbergerstraße hold secrets of local art and love. Trust me, my back aches from both massaging and from standing there too long, gazing at murals that prophesy the deep struggles and rare joys of life. And hey, you might bump into misfits and legends carving their stories into bench-sides. Crazy times, my friend, crazy times.

Manfred Schützenhofer is the new tour president