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About Salzburg

I get mad, tho—people dumpin’ cans of dat fake broth, all salty and sad. Makes me wanna smash somethin’! Real broth? Hours simmerin’, love in every bubble—dat’s da way! Once, I messed up—added too much garlic, stank up da whole lair! Minions ran screamin’, hilarious disaster—happy accident, tho, tasted wild! Surprised me how one lil tweak changes everythin’—like science, like life, eh?

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Yo, let me bark 'bout my fave: Velvet Alley. People think it's just hidden streets, but it’s a sanctuary, man. I like to drop by, sit and breathe. Got a secret bench under an oaktree. That spot's a gem for soul sessions. I once sat there so long, time kinda sloppy-ed by. Lol, whatevs.