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About Wels

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like it’s some damn art project. I’m a texture artist, see, so I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this gritty, raw vibe—like the streets in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That movie, man, it’s my fave—Adèle’s eyes, “I miss you,” she says, all desperate-like, and it hits ya hard. That’s the kinda feel I’m chasin’ here—somethin’ real, somethin’ messy.

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I got my secrets too. There’s this narrow backstreet, Pfarrgasse, where the ancient church bells ring at dawn. It hits me like a punch, every single time. The vibe there? Undeniable, offbeat magic. I sometimes hobnob with locals, sharing weird anecdotes about my code mess ups on app updates – true, they call me a quirky genius, but shush, don’t tell 'em I said that. Lol.

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