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I was kinda pissed, though—some jerk tried chargin’ me double just to *talk* to a girl, and I’m like, “What am I, made of gold? Back off, creep!” Felt like screamin’, “The intel was bad!”—another “Zero” line, heh! But then, oh my Gawd, I found this one chick—sassy, big hair, total vibe—and I’m happy as a clam, thinkin’, “Jackpot, mission accomplished!” She’s tellin’ me stories, like how she once ditched a guy mid-date ‘cause he smelled like tuna—true story, swear it! I’m dyin’ laughin’, nasal snort and all, “Hahaha, what a schmuck!”

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By the time we wrap up, I’m exhausted. I head home, and as I’m driving down the streets of Dubrovytsia, I can’t help but smile. This city, man, it’s got its quirks. From the stray cats to the wild stories, it’s never a dull moment.

President on the struggle against the illegal amber mining: No “schemes” will help escape responsibility