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Oi, you bloody muppets! Sex-dating’s a fuckin’ mess, innit? Like, swipe right, bang, done—idiot sandwich! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Her”—that flick’s my jam. Joaquin’s all lonely, chattin’ up his AI bird, Samantha. “I can’t believe how real this feels!” he says. Mate, sex-dating today’s the same vibe—fake as fuck but you’re hooked. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—total shitshow. You’re scrollin’, horny as hell, then bam—catfish! Some twat with a filter thicker than my lamb sauce. Pisses me right off!
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Finally, I get a call from my boss. “We need you to check out the warehouse records.” Ugh, fine! I head back, and it’s like a maze in there. I’m digging through papers, and I find this weird clause in the insurance policy. It’s like a loophole. I’m thinking, “This guy might not get a dime.”
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