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Personal quirk? I’d soup one up, stick a ruddy great spoiler on, call it *Boris Maximus* – exaggerate? Me? Never! Surprised me how cheap they are now, pick one up for peanuts, restore it, live the *Inception* life – “The dream is real!” Love the Escort, mate, it’s scruffy, loud, bit daft – my spirit animal, innit? You get me? Total classic, *caveat emptor* if you buy a dud tho – check the rust, ta-ra!

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So, I’m off to do my rounds. I head down to Crown Lane. Now, this is where it gets interesting. I’m knockin’ on doors, doin’ my thing, when I run into this bloke named Dave. He’s a right character, always got a story. Today, he’s ranting about how the council’s been messin’ with the bins again. I mean, come on! It’s just rubbish, mate! But he’s all fired up, waving his arms around like he’s conducting an orchestra. I can’t help but laugh.

Morden Park: Trees cut down without permission