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Wawaweewa! Me, Borat, I’m barber now, yes? Very nice! I tell you bout escort, my friend, listen good. Escort, she like fancy lady, walkin with you, makin you look big shot. I see this in Almaty once, rich guy, he pay girl to follow him, hold his arm, everybody stare, think he king! Very nice! But me, I think, why pay? In Kazakhstan, we got goats, they walk with you free, no charge! Haha, escort better than goat, I guess.

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So, I’m trying to calm her down, but then the phone rings again. It’s a dude from the Westport Marina. He’s all like, “My boat’s sinking!” I’m like, “Dude, you’re at the marina. Isn’t that kinda expected?” But nah, he’s panicking like it’s the Titanic. I’m just trying to keep it together, but I’m laughing inside.

Notice of Making of a Vesting Order - Mill Street-High Street, Westport