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Me? I tried it once – don’t judge, ya nosy git! Was in dis shady parlor, dim lights, smellin’ like lavender and sin. Lady says, “Relax, big boy,” and I’m like, “Vhat, me? Da Gru?!” Hands on me back, den lower – Lightbulb! – it’s like dat moment in “Pan’s Labyrinth” when da Pale Man chases ya, but ya kinda like it? Freaky, da! Felt good, tho – real good. Muscles all soft, head spinnin’, but den – bam! – she asks fer extra cash. Pissed me off, greedy minion! I’m yellin’, “I’m no cash cow, lady!” Stormed out, still smellin’ like her fancy oil.

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After a bit of shouting and some laughter, we finally finish the table. It’s a beauty, if I do say so myself. Just as I’m admiring it, the family shows up. They’re all smiles, and I’m feelin’ proud. But then, the dad looks at the table and says, “It’s a bit too big, innit?” I’m like, “You wanted a family table, mate!”

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