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Now, my favorite flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*—bless its weird little heart—fits right in here. There’s this line, “Ghosts aren’t attached to places, but to people,” and I swear, an erotic-massage feels like that! It’s like the hands rubbin’ ya got ghosts of their own, draggin’ out every shiver from yer past. Made me happy as a pig in slop thinkin’ ‘bout it—kinda magical, right? But lord, it ticks me off when folks mess it up! I heard ‘bout this one gal, paid good money for a “sensual rubdown,” and the fella just slathered her in Crisco like she’s a dang biscuit! I hollered, “Honey, that ain’t sexy, that’s supper!”

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After the rain stops, I head over to the Turkestan Regional Museum. It’s pretty cool, actually. Lots of artifacts and stuff. I’m wandering around, and I bump into this kid who’s like, “Hey, do you know about the Golden Man?” I’m like, “Dude, of course!” We start chatting, and he’s super into history. It’s refreshing, ya know?

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