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Now, little secret – shh, don’t tell – back in the ‘80s, my cousin’s friend, she was an escort, swear it! Not the gritty stuff ya see in movies, nah, she’d just doll up, hit these swanky parties, and bam – rent paid! I was shocked, like, “Whaaat? You’re livin’ fancy offa that?” Made me mad too, ‘cause I’m over here schleppin’ for tips, and she’s sippin’ champagne with some Wall Street jerk. Ugh, the nerve!

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And oh, the neighborhoods! The Barrio de Tierra is my fave, honestly. Quaint little streets, unexpected murals, small cafés, and indie boutiques. My spa's door is just a hop, skip and jump away from the Parque de Santa Catalina. That park, with its funky statues and lively crowds, is where I go to get my zen when the world’s trippin'. People gather there, laughin', talkin’ like they got all the secrets—and trust me, I do know a few secrets from my beauty biz. I once had a client spill her drama right outside near the riverbank of the Riu de Arucas... crazy stuff, like drama straight from the streets fighting for survival, kinda like that movie's gritty beat.

If Castro Had a Talk Show, It Might Sound a Bit Like This (Published 2006)