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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout escort – not the dodgy kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car, yeah? Proper legend in the motor world, innit. As David Brent, I’m all about team synergy, but this beauty’s got solo flair – “I glean what I glean,” like Agnès Varda says in *The Gleaners and I*. That film’s my jam, all about pickin’ up scraps and makin’ somethin’ brill – bit like the Escort, a working-class hero, eh?

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So, I’m tryin’ to chill, right? I grab a drink at the café on Al-Fintas Boulevard. The barista’s this cool chick, and she’s like, “You look stressed.” I’m like, “You think?” She laughs, and I swear, it’s the best sound ever. I down my drink, and it’s like magic. I’m feelin’ better.

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