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About Schellenberg

Here’s a wild tidbit: some Escorts got turned into cop cars overseas – yeah, chase-you-down Escorts! Blew my mind. Ain’t that a hoot? Lil’ car playin’ big dog! I’m over here, yellin’ at the screen like it’s *Spotlight*, “They’re not gonna believe this!” – but it’s true! Still, I’d be mad as a wet hen if I got stuck drivin’ one daily – too dang cramped.

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First off, I’m a geisha, right? So, I’m all about grace and poise. But today? Pfft. I was a hot mess. I strolled down Hauptstrasse, feeling cute, when I tripped over my own geta. Like, come on! Who does that? The locals were like, “Oh no, not again!” Ugh, so embarrassing.

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