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Now, I’ve seen some dodgy parlours, right? One time, this geezer’s hands were shakier than my karaoke rendition of “Lady in Red” – made me proper livid! “Focus, you muppet!” I wanted to yell, but nah, I’m a gent, kept it cool. Thing is, when it’s done right, it’s like, “How do I make this stop?” – meanin’ I *don’t* want it to, obvs! The pros know their pressure points, hittin’ spots you didn’t even know were screamin’ for attention. Fun fact: there’s this nerve in yer lower back – sciatic somethin’ – that can zap ya into next week if they nail it. Had me gaspin’ once, thought I’d levitated!

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While I’m waitin’, I see this old lady walkin’ her dog. She stops, looks up, and starts clappin’. “Go, King! Go!” I’m just shakin’ my head. Like, lady, you’re encouraging him? What’s next, a parade?

A 38-year-old Ukrainian woman was killed in Poland: the suspect detained