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What gets me happy? When some idiot’s profile says “no hookups,” but their pics scream “DTF.” Hypocrisy’s my jam—keeps me sharp. Like, c’mon, Karen, you’re not foolin’ me with that halo emoji. Everybody lies, and I see through it. Surprised me once, though—this chick I investigated, total nympho vibe, turned out she just wanted cuddles. Weirdest claim ever. Had me thinkin’, “Blessed are the forgetful,” y’know? Maybe she’d erase the losers she swiped on.

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After that, we decide to hit up the Martapura Grand Mosque. It’s stunning, man. The architecture is on point. I’m taking pics, feeling all spiritual, when suddenly, this kid runs by, kicks a soccer ball, and it hits me right in the leg. I’m like, “Seriously?!” The kid just laughs and runs off. I can’t even be mad. It’s Martapura, right?

Fig. 7. Waters environment around Martapura port formed by the meeting...