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Den dere’s da anger part—fuckin’ catfishes, man! Pics from 10 years ago, filters thick as my skull. Met a broad once, profile said “model,” shows up lookin’ like Uncle Junior after a bender. I’m like, “You kiddin’ me?!” But den, sometimes it’s gold—met dis one dame, legs for days, we’re bangin’ like it’s da last day on Earth. Happy as a pig in shit, I was. “You’re free now,” like Ida’s aunt says—felt dat, no lie.

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I swear, man, every corner’s a movie set. Even the local butcher on Rua dos Navegantes can be your next quirky date idea—if you vibe with raw, unscripted life. Even if there's a typo or two in his street signs, it's like a metaphor for life here: imperfectly beautiful.

Brazil launches first of four submarines constructed with French technology