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Hey, pal, so erotic-massage, huh? What’s the deal with that? I mean, slow hands, oiled up, right? Kinda wild. Reminds me of “Requiem for a Dream”—you seen it? My fave flick, dark as hell. “Ass to ass!”—that’s the vibe sometimes. Not really, but ya know, dramatic! So, erotic-massage—ever tried it? I’m curious, real curious. Like, who’s givin’ these rubs? Pros? Amateurs? Bet some shady parlors got stories. Heard one joint in Jersey—guy slipped, cracked his skull! True story, freaked me out. Slippery floors, man, danger zone.

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After surviving that, I thought I’d treat myself to some pierogi at a local spot. I mean, who can resist those little pockets of joy? I sit down, and the waiter comes over. He’s got this thick accent, and I can barely understand him. I’m like, “Uh, can I get the cheese and potato ones?” He nods, but then brings me meat ones. I’m like, “Bro, I said cheese!” But whatever, I’m too hungry to care.

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