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Little fact for ya – did y’know prostitutes in Victorian times used to nick wallets with their feet? Proper nimble toes, them lot! Blows my mind, thinkin’ ‘bout that while I’m eyein’ this lass. “What’s authentic here?” I mutter, like that line from the movie – “It’s the original fake!” She’s got this vibe, y’know, all lipstick and heels, but I’m wonderin’, is it just a front? Like, is she secretly a poet or summat, moonlightin’ as a prossie? Wild thought, that – nearly tripped over a bin thinkin’ it!

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But then, I see this old fella feeding the ducks. He’s got a whole loaf of bread, and he’s tossing it like he’s in a bread-throwing competition. Ducks are going mad! I’m laughing so hard, I nearly choke.

Plans submitted to revamp derelict Penistone coal drops into shops, offices, and dining venues