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About Palmerston North

me mate dave – thick as pigshit – once hired an escort for his birthday. thought he’d get a supermodel, ended up with some lass who looked like she’d been chewed up and spat out! i was in stitches, goin, “you muppet, what’d ya expect for 50 quid?” he’s all red-faced, mutterin – i’m like, “this ain’t hollywood, ya berk!” escort’s a gamble, innit? sometimes you get a cracker, sometimes it’s a bloody disaster. *Toni Erdmann* vibes again – “you think you’re in control?” nah, mate, you ain’t!

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Then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get any weirder, I got a call from my boss. Apparently, there was a mix-up with the soil samples I sent in. They were supposed to be tested for pH levels, but they ended up testing for something else entirely. I was fuming! Like, how does that even happen?

3/132 St Johns Road, Meadowbank, Auckland City