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Gets me goat when folks slag it off, tho. “Oh, it’s dirty!” – sod off, it’s relaxin! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon, tell em!” – she’d say it’s lush, trust me. Oh, an this one time, mate, this geezer’s got incense burnin, playin weird flute tunes – felt like a bleedin ritual! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but it’s Ozzy rules – go big or go home! Reckon you’d love it, pal – get yerself an erotic-massage, live a bit! “The sun burns, yet we endure!” – that’s me after a sesh, glowin an knackered!

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We finally got a table, and she ordered this fancy smoothie. I went for a classic café con leche. We were chatting, laughing, and then she dropped the bomb. She’s moving to the mainland. I was like, “What?! No way!” I mean, Candelaria-Arenas won’t be the same without her. I felt this wave of anger and sadness. Why do people leave?

Urban Train expansion plans include route to Old San Juan