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So, I’m cruisin’, shades on, feelin’ randy as hell, when I spot this chick, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owns the joint. “What’s good, dollface?” I purr, smooth as a velvet suit. She’s givin’ me the eye, ya know, and I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no country for old men, baby!” I’m in, yeah! But then – whoa – she quotes me a price, and I’m like, “Far out, that’s steep!” Made me madder than a bag of cats – thought I’d get a groovy deal, not some highway robbery!

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So, I’m talking about visualization techniques, and he’s just staring at the gelato like it’s the Holy Grail. I’m like, “Dude, you can have gelato after you score a goal, not before!” He finally gets it, but then he says, “What if I score a goal and then eat gelato?” I almost lost it. Kids these days, man.

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