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About Astana

We hates how pricey they gets – bleedin’ robbers, some of em! But when they’s good, ooooh, we’s happy as a hobbit with second breakfast. “Life’s a mystery,” Amélie says, and escorts? They’s the riddle we can’t crack. Sneaky, sexy, silly – all at once! We’d share a smoke with em, yesss, if they’d sit still long enough. Hiss! What’s your take, eh, precious?

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of my data crisis? Everyone’s scrambling, and I’m just standing there like, “Is this real life?” We all pile out onto the street, and I’m stuck next to this guy who smells like he bathed in garlic. No joke. I’m trying not to gag while we wait for the fire department.

Kazakhstan's 'first' sale