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Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Rudi shows up. He’s always got some crazy stories. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened at the pasar!” I’m like, “What? Did someone finally win the lottery?” Nah, it was way crazier. Apparently, a goat got loose and started a mini stampede. I’m picturing it, laughing so hard. A goat just runnin’ wild in the market? Classic Pamekasan!

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