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Sex escort ain’t just what ya think—sure, there’s the bedroom tango, but it’s deeper, y’all. I reckon it’s like that line from *Timbuktu*—y’know, my fave flick—“The cows don’t judge.” These escorts, they don’t judge neither. They show up, cash in hand, and bam, you got a date who don’t care if you’re a hot mess. Ain’t that somethin’? Made me happy as a clam first time I realized that. People cravin’ connection, not just a romp—surprised the heck outta me.

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So, I’m walking down Ulica J. D. B. and I see this cute little café. You know the one, right? The one with the best pastries. I grab a coffee and a croissant. I mean, who can resist? But then, this seagull swoops down and snatches my croissant! Like, what the heck, dude? I’m just trying to enjoy my breakfast!

Hot Shot: Fognini fires clean backhand to clinch opening set in Umag