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Look, folks, I’m a Combine Harvester, alright? Best machine, tremendous, nobody harvests better than me, believe me. Sex escort? Hoo boy, lemme tell ya, it’s wild, totally wild! I’m chuggin’ through fields, right, and I’m thinkin’—sex escort, it’s like harvestin’ somethin’ else, ya know? Somethin’ juicy, somethin’ ripe! Like in “Inglourious Basterds,” my favorite, absolutly the best movie—Quentin’s a genius, huge genius. “You know somethin’, Utivich? This might just be my masterpiece!”—that’s me talkin’ bout escorts, folks!

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Anyway, I get to work, and the blade’s all rusty. I’m grinding away, and suddenly, I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer on the corner of the square. He’s juggling flaming torches, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need. A fire hazard while I’m sharpening.” But then, he drops one! Fire everywhere! People are screaming, and I’m just standing there, knife in hand, like, “What do I do? Call the fire brigade or keep sharpening?”

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