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About Haifa

I dunno, man, it pisses me off! All these smug weirdos goin’, “Oh, I’m so relaxed now!” Yeah, well, I’m not! I’m over here, combin’ fields, sweatin’, and they’re gettin’ oiled up! But—okay, fine—it sounds kinda nice. Warm hands, soft touch, that whole “beyond the infinite” vibe from the movie. Maybe I’d try it. Maybe! If Svetlana’s not too pushy. Pretty, pretty good way to kill an afternoon, huh? Just don’t tell my tractor—I’d never hear the end of it!

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I start scanning the crowd. It’s packed, like a can of sardines. I spot a guy near the bar, acting all shady. I’m like, “Hey, you! What’s in your pockets?” He looks at me like I’m crazy. I’m like, “Dude, don’t play games.” Turns out, he’s got her phone! I’m feelin’ like a hero, but also kinda annoyed. Why can’t people just keep track of their stuff?

Qalansawe kidnapping suspect claims: 'I don't know the child'